The Shoot in the Snow

I spent several years doing some amateur modeling with a local group, The Unchained Girls, before Covid-19 struck. Several of us models were also photographers, so when my friend and fellow model/photographer Mackenzie posted on Facebook that she wanted to do some “adventure” boudoir shoots before Valentine’s Day, I saw an opportunity.

My post-mastectomy breast reconstruction efforts had brought me nothing but pain so I was having them removed January 28th. I thought that maybe since I’d missed my chance to have photos taken before my bilateral mastectomy I should have some photos taken before I took the implants out. I also wanted to get some witchy-looking photos for my new Instagram account that was helping me explore my new path.

I sent Mackenzie a message:

I’m thinking woods, snow, witchy-props. You in?

She replied:

This sounds like absolute perfection!

We made our plan and met up at the Glacier View Sno-Park on January 23rd. I’d brought a couple outfit changes, Stabethyst, a black moonstone orb, a couple pillar candles, and my velvet cloak that I’d had for twenty years.

She helped me carry my bags and we hiked the short trail to the frozen lake while I filled her in on my breast cancer saga. There were only about six people around. A couple were sitting in camping chairs on the lake looking across into the woods. Two were cross-country skiing and went past us back toward the road. The other two were walking cute little dogs past us toward Mt. Hood. We found a nice spot with the lake on one side and the woods on the other and I set my bags down.

I took off my sweater and put on my faux fur shrug for the first set of shots. I picked up my broom for a few poses, then changed into my lace caftan. I wasn’t paying attention, but we must have scared off the other people because we had the whole clearing to ourselves for the rest of the hour. In some of the poses I felt powerful, in others vulnerability. In all of them, I felt like myself for the first time in a modeling shoot because I wasn’t wearing a costume. This was me. This was my path.

When we were done, I still had the red dress on, so I threw my sweater back on, and the cloak over that. We were hiking back to the road when I suddenly had an image in my mind of what I looked like and asked Mackenzie to grab a shot of it. I told her I felt like a traveler—a traveling witch.

About a week later she sent me the photos. I was blown away. Mackenzie is very talented, but also, I saw myself—my true self. And I was beautiful.